Don't Run Away!

"This post is specially dedicated to parents with school going children.*

This month marks the beginning of another school year here in Malaysia. 

As a member of several parents group on Facebook, came across numerous posts on their children's FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. Especially for those entering Standard One (the first year of Primary School). 

Many expressed cultural shock such as

• foul words used by seven year olds

• bullies

• heavy load (homework)

• difficult syllabus 

• hardships in coping with new language(s) (in certain schools, it is by default that children has to learn three languages, namely Mandarin, English and Malay

Since my first child is already in his third year, I would like to share some of our experiences here to give some encouragement to parents whose children just entered Standard One. 

Three years ago, when my son started school at one of the local government Chinese schools...

I had many emotional ups and downs. And these emotions had brought more harm to him than good because I had a lot of negative impressions on these schools. And I was too anxious of almost anything. I came from a different background (I attended the national school, which uses the Malay language as the medium of instruction and had a different culture compared to the Chinese schools). 

Half way through, I almost gave up (not him), however, there was a small voice inside me that kept on saying: HANG IN THERE. DO NOT QUIT. ONLY THE TOUGH SURVIVES THE REAL WORLD

and so...

he survived his first year. Not smooth sailing though. He had his ups and downs too. He refused to learn his spellings (all three languages), hid his homework and was always forgetful or unable to understand instructions well. Thus, he would get things done on the wrong dates. 

He was often caned or punished due to his mistakes (academic) or mixing with the naughty boys and got caught doing naughty things like running around during recess time, He even failed one paper. He didn't do well academically but towards the end of that school year, he managed to win himself a trophy from the singing competition which he took part on his own initiative. 

During his second year, things got better. I think it was partially due to me. I started to LET GO and LET THINGS BE. I didn't ask as much as I would like to know and I told myself to have more confidence in him. 

I kept on reminding myself to let him be, let him learn and let him experience things on his own, at his own pace. 

I became more relaxed and I could sense that he was less nervous or "rejecting" towards school. 

He was bullied by a few of his classmates, both boys and girls but he learnt to defend for himself.

Now that he is in P3, he is a lot more independent and knows how to handle issues on his own.

The journey is tough but I will fight on!!

When asked how was school during the first few days, he even gave me an unexpected answer: FUN!

So, parents, I know it's hard but I hope that we can all learn to sit back, relax and just watch them grow. If they need our assistance, of course we step in to help a little but most of the time, I feel that it is most rewarding to just let go and observe.

If we do not have confidence in our children, who else would? 

Here, I would like to wish all parents and your children a meaningful school year!😀